Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
