i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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