Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
