im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
