WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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