he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He did a backflip because drugs
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