I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
