I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
