he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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