Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
