I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
