thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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