The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
