Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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