I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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