We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
