What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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