Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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