she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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