IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
