Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
