I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
