I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
