Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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