You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
