first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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