What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
