Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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