dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
