you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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