all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
