She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
