Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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