At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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