why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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