bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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