I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
