So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
