After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
