Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
