I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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