He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
