I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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