saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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