just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
