I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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