I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
