my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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