Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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