Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
