i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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